Life to the Fullest ~ Seeds of Longing
Last Friday evening, I was honored to hold a mic to share and be witnessed with a group of men and women, who had gathered together to honor the Deep Feminine through spoken words, poetry, storytelling, song, and TESTIMONY. Thank you to Rebel Goddess Reclamation for designing and producing a beautiful way to be seen and heard. It was an incredible experience to witness others share their hearts too. I thought I would share my testimony in this space. May it provide assurance or comfort for those who are on their own journey of longing.
So here it goes . . .
My name is Kerry Griffith, and this is my Deep Feminine Testimony:
From the start of this new moon cycle, I have asked myself, and the women in my circles, to uncover a deeply held longing, or a DESIRE. For me, I just called in more desire, and to be desired. Well, as we all are fully aware, we are in the heart of the Scorpio Season, and then Venus took over my chart. Well, let’s just say when I call this in, it definitely created some extra WILD in my life.
This Scorpion energy invites us to tap into our inner desires and longings.
The Deep Feminine thrives off emotions, sensations, and the permission to want, and receive.
The Divine Feminine in all of us is begging us to create and express ourselves, allowing the inner knowing to be heard, held and honored.
“What you seek is seeking you.” Rumi
There are many moments in my life when the sensations of longing were so incredibly intense. So much so, that the sensation created an immense ache that would resonate in every single cell of my body.
Right? You know this feeling . . . we have all been there.
Over time, these sensations of desire have been been stripped away from the feminine, conditioning women to believe that we should not “want”. That we should not have these kind of sensations, or we are bad, dirty, naughty.
So tonight, we honor the Deep Feminine, and one way to do so is to reclaim our desires.
There was nothing I wanted or desired more in this life than to become pregnant. This was a longing that spanned over the course of several years. Each day, each moon cycle, this longing became more intense, more achy. The longing to be a mother, and to hold a baby in my arms, to care for, nurture, and love. The amount of pregnancy tests, fertility consultations, tears, prayers, and of course sex continued to build up, and so did the desire. There was NOTHING I wasn’t willing to try to conceive.
My connection to the Divine at this time of my life was beautiful and unwavering. So I made a pact with her, please be will me through this journey, and so she did! We painted portraits of me fertile and pregnant, and created mandalas of phallic structures putting visual energy onto my alter. We danced together, cried on the bathroom floor together, squatted over yoni steams, and she guided me through meditations to allow my uterus to be open to receiving. She supported me as I sought out the medical procedures I needed so that my body knew how to support hormones throughout the cycle.
Mother Mary, Damara, Aphrodite, Ostara I had a powerhouse team behind me, supporting me. I called in Goddess. I called in Her power. I cried. I prayed. I got angry. And so I threw the best damn baby showers for all my best girlfriends at the time.
Then, as the Divine works in her perfect ways, I had a night of uninteresting sex.
The Divine timing. The ache of longing and desire was finally released. A few weeks later, my heart burst into a million pieces leaving joy and happiness as the slave to mend it back together.
Our desires. Our deeply held longings. They are different to each of us, but know this . .
She/Her/The Divine/Goddess, is here and holding you and the space for your deepest, heart-aching, pulsating desires.
So I invite you now to ease fully close your eyes. Taking in a deep breath and exhaling the acknowledgement that the sensations we feel in our bodies are true connection to Her. Relaxing your shoulders, releasing your belly, any feelings of tightness in your body. Feeling into Her energy, her presence, take a moment to breathe into this awareness. And now, ask yourself . . .
What is your deeply held longing?
How do you honor the true desires in your life?
How has The Divine Connection supported you in your times of want/wanting?